june 11th

It seriously breaks my heart that there are people in this world who don’t know people care about them. They do not think one person cares for them enough to make them stay on this earth.

There are people who think their life is so un-worth it, so meaningless, so devalued. They think their life has no purpose. and that it’s not work experiencing or persevering through. And so they take their own lives, not fully realizing the impact their absence will have on the lives of people. On their mothers, nieces, brothers, teachers. And even in strangers like me.

And what doesn’t help how these people view themselves is the wicked world we live in. A world that’s full of sin, corruption, and deceit.

It’s gut-wrenching, really. And every time it happens, I can’t help but think what if I just got the chance to talk to those people. Just to have a conversation with them. Sometimes, that’s all people need; for someone to look them in the eyes, to listen to then attentively, showing them that they are valued. That they matter.

And through that, to show them the unsurpassable love that God has for them. Although they may not see It or feel It. To share with them that It comes through the fact they see the sun rise, or that they make it home safely. To show them that’s It displayed all over creation, in the vast greenness of nature, and the crashing wades of water. To show them that It even makes appearances in the little things, like a smile, a hug, or a conversation.

It breaks my heart to know there are people out there that do not know the favor and admiration God has for them. They don’t know how pursuitful He is of our hearts. They don’t know how quickly he’d move mountains just to have us.

If they could’ve just had that conversation, just maybe.

R.I.P. Kalief Browder

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this love

This morning, it was hard for me to read the Word. I wanted to so deeply feel something as I read the truth spoken by God in Genesis, but I just couldn’t. The possibility of not passing this semester crossed my mind. The thought of missing a deadline for my job distracted me. The lack of time spent in the gym this week put me on a guilt trip. So I closed my journal and Bible, and played my Pandora radio. The song “This Love” by Housefires played, and completely broke my walls. Towards the end of that song, my Bible app notified me of the verse of the day, 2 Corinthians 3:17 — “Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” God knew just what to say.

As the weight of the world hones in on me, as I’m swayed to believe I’m not good enough, I can rest in these truths portrayed in that song:

“This love, is an everyday kind of love. Every morning, I’m in it

This love, is an everyday kind of love. Every evening, I’m in it

This love doesn’t leave me alone; it never forgets its own

This love won’t leave me because my past is bad

This love lifts me up above the waves; I don’t need to be overwhelmed.

It raises me upon a rock so my feet can finally stand on ground.

This love is every moment, of everyday, always.

This love makes it so that you can finally be free.”